It's amazing how much I miss those kids. I can't believe that I've been away from them for so long. It seems impossible to wait much longer to see them again. But I'm waiting... I am trying to make plans to go back for a month long visit in September (in time to see Jackson and Noah turn one!! Ah!!) But September feels so far away. I just keep thinking that I'll be able to make it through as long as I have a visit planned even if it seems to be a long wait. It will feel so good to  have a plane ticket purchased so that I have assurance that I WILL be there to hug and kiss all those kids again!

As for my time at home... It's been bitter sweet. Not one minute goes by where I don't think of Jackson and Noah and the other kids. If for one second I do get distracted and forget, it makes it worse when I remember. I don't ever want to forget the time I had with those kids. It was amazing. It was hard. And I am thankful for it. I miss it a lot but it has been good to be home. It's been amazing to be able to spend time with so many of the people that love and support me. Although my heart will never leave Haiti, I don't think it will ever leave home either... I think my transition home would have been a whole lot harder if I hadn't come home to such loving and caring friends and family. I'm lucky to have come home to people who care and are willing to wipe my tear when I miss the kids and who let me talk excessively about Haiti and who look through my endless pictures of sleeping babies and jump roping kids. I'm a very lucky and grateful girl!

It's comfortable here. Things that were hard in Haiti are not hard here. Laundry is easy. I get to sleep whenever I want. I get to eat whenever I want. I get to chose my own schedule instead of 18 small children choosing it for me. Life is comfortable here. But not. Not now. Sometimes I think about how easy it was to accept and enjoy all the comforts of the United States BEFORE I took my first trip to Haiti. That first trip in the Summer of 2010 changed my life. I think about things differently now. Especially after being in Haiti for nine months. After falling so in love with 19 precious children and living life with them. I learned a lot from those kids. They taught me about love, joy, and unwavering faith. I'm a changed person and wont' ever look at things the same way again. I think about things I didn't think about before. I make decisions differently. I care about different things. I think these are all changes for the good. I thank God for the awesome opportunity to fall in love with Haiti and the people who live there. All the love I gave and received and still am giving and receiving is well worth the heart ache of being away. I wouldn't trade my time there for anything. Mwen renmen Ayiti!!